Wednesday, April 10, 2013
.....exhale.....
Wednesday 10th April 2013
With tears of joy and a heart full of love, I can FINALLY say my treatment is OVER.
I'm breathing deeply for the first time in 8 months.
I'm smiling like there are no tomorrow's.
I'm deeply in love with my husband and children.
So, it's on to the next chapter.......... what ever they may be. Tests, reconstruction, reduction, and living life to the full, not looking back.
My glass is finally FULL!
Lots of love
Shaz xx
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
All the way
9th April 2013
2 Rads to go and thinking about the love my hubby and I share.
Love you Damon xxx
"All The Way"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmFaNuT-20g
2 Rads to go and thinking about the love my hubby and I share.
Love you Damon xxx
"All The Way"
When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you all the way
Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That's how deep it goes if it's real
When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years come what may
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way all the way
So, if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way all the way
It's no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you all the way
Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That's how deep it goes if it's real
When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years come what may
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way all the way
So, if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way all the way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmFaNuT-20g
You are my sunshine
Thursday 4th April 2013
It's days away until I complete my radiation regime and I am so excited, yet petrified. Having the treatment gives me a security blanket, I know the rad is destroying any cells that may have remained. 8 months with medical intervention then nothing but my own body and Tamoxifen...... counting on these 2 to keep me cancer free.
I do worry about recurrence, I'd be a fool if I didn't. I'm not going to let this worry consume me, (it's too easy to give in to this worry) I can't stress about the "what if's". I have done everything I can to be C free. At every Mammogram, every MRI, Bone Scan, bloods etc, I know my heart will halt until I receive the news I'm clear. The time in between the tests is one worth living to the full.
My left 1/2 breast is red and hot to touch (no jokes!!) Left clavicle is so bloody sore and thankfully the salt water baths are helping. I'm continuing with the moisturising and now wearing scarves to cover my chest when I'm in the sun.
My hair is getting longer by the day. If I had a $1 for every time someone asked to feel my head, I would be rich! I'm actually enjoying the bald look, when I'm out and about people see ME, for me. I have know wear to hide, a confidence takes over and I'm at peace.
My eyebrows and eyelashes are growing back, my eyes are still dark and too me sunken, guess it's the standard "I've had chemo look"
My skin is dry too.
I'm LOVING the walks and squats. Exercise and laughter is definitely the best medicine, I feel on top of the world. Walking with out getting puffed out is bloody brilliant, look out I'm ready to run ;)
I have noticed when I'm extremely tired, my train of thought and speech slows too. A reminder to rest, I'm not surper woman!
It's been a long hard road these last 8 months. I have experienced fear in it's pure form, and an overwhelming amount of love from family and friends.
Tears flow as I think back to those few days of diagnosis, thoughts of how will I ever get through Chemo and Rad, let alone 2 surgeries (more to come) are a distant memory. I can see the light shining through my tunnel, it's getting brighter and I can almost feel it on my face, have I really got to the other side??
lots of love
Shaz x
It's days away until I complete my radiation regime and I am so excited, yet petrified. Having the treatment gives me a security blanket, I know the rad is destroying any cells that may have remained. 8 months with medical intervention then nothing but my own body and Tamoxifen...... counting on these 2 to keep me cancer free.
I do worry about recurrence, I'd be a fool if I didn't. I'm not going to let this worry consume me, (it's too easy to give in to this worry) I can't stress about the "what if's". I have done everything I can to be C free. At every Mammogram, every MRI, Bone Scan, bloods etc, I know my heart will halt until I receive the news I'm clear. The time in between the tests is one worth living to the full.
My left 1/2 breast is red and hot to touch (no jokes!!) Left clavicle is so bloody sore and thankfully the salt water baths are helping. I'm continuing with the moisturising and now wearing scarves to cover my chest when I'm in the sun.
My hair is getting longer by the day. If I had a $1 for every time someone asked to feel my head, I would be rich! I'm actually enjoying the bald look, when I'm out and about people see ME, for me. I have know wear to hide, a confidence takes over and I'm at peace.
My eyebrows and eyelashes are growing back, my eyes are still dark and too me sunken, guess it's the standard "I've had chemo look"
My skin is dry too.
I'm LOVING the walks and squats. Exercise and laughter is definitely the best medicine, I feel on top of the world. Walking with out getting puffed out is bloody brilliant, look out I'm ready to run ;)
I have noticed when I'm extremely tired, my train of thought and speech slows too. A reminder to rest, I'm not surper woman!
It's been a long hard road these last 8 months. I have experienced fear in it's pure form, and an overwhelming amount of love from family and friends.
Tears flow as I think back to those few days of diagnosis, thoughts of how will I ever get through Chemo and Rad, let alone 2 surgeries (more to come) are a distant memory. I can see the light shining through my tunnel, it's getting brighter and I can almost feel it on my face, have I really got to the other side??
lots of love
Shaz x
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Update...
Thursday 21st March 2013
19 days of Radiation and the effects on my skin are starting to show. My left clavicle is red, itchy and tiny blisters are forming. My left breast is turning pink and the skin is hot to touch. I am yet to bathe the area in salt water and am moisturising 6 times a day with Aveeno.
Over the past 19 days, I have had some really nice staff getting me settled on the bed and making sure I am lined up with lasers etc.
I'm not entirely sure I'm liking having a male in the room and was completely gobsmacked when I had a big... black... Somalian drawing dots all over my breasts. (nothing to do with colour just not expecting males to be in the room) Let me set the scene:
Once arriving at Perth Radiation Clinic, I drop my appointment card into the slot, head over to collect my gown, duck into the cubicle, remove my top, bra and slip the robe on.
I then sit in a waiting area and wait until I am called. (I have waited an hour when the blasted machine was playing up) Once called, I follow them into the room, drop my basket holding my bag, top and bra (it's a big basket) and head to the bed. Before dropping my gown and flashing everyone, I give my birthdate and then lay on the bed, ensuring my bum hits a certain spot. I'm reminded to lift my arms over my head and grab the rails.
Now, this is where I do feel uncomfortable having a male in the room. Feeling vulnerable, the staff at this point are lining you up with the lasers, upper body is shoved as they make sure my side tats are lined up, they have the ruler out ensuring I'm centred and then my chest is marked up, once they are happy with everything, they leave and the rad begins. I'm left with my thoughts... are all the women seen today the talk of the beer garden?? What if I sneeze whist having treatment?? I look like I'm either sunning myself or wanting a good seeing too!!
So you get the picture, Big tall bloke, drawing on my boob and my thoughts... hence, my feeling uncomfortable.
It's been 52 days since I had my last chemo, time passes by so quickly. My hair is growing back everywhere. Think I need to get back into waxing soon (its been so nice not having to deal with all of that)
It's been 22 days since starting Tamoxifen and (touch wood) the only side effects that I seem to be having are hot flushes and heartburn.
Life is crazy busy and I have to remind myself to slow down and rest! Oh bugger! just looked at the time and on to my next job.
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
19 days of Radiation and the effects on my skin are starting to show. My left clavicle is red, itchy and tiny blisters are forming. My left breast is turning pink and the skin is hot to touch. I am yet to bathe the area in salt water and am moisturising 6 times a day with Aveeno.
Over the past 19 days, I have had some really nice staff getting me settled on the bed and making sure I am lined up with lasers etc.
I'm not entirely sure I'm liking having a male in the room and was completely gobsmacked when I had a big... black... Somalian drawing dots all over my breasts. (nothing to do with colour just not expecting males to be in the room) Let me set the scene:
Once arriving at Perth Radiation Clinic, I drop my appointment card into the slot, head over to collect my gown, duck into the cubicle, remove my top, bra and slip the robe on.
I then sit in a waiting area and wait until I am called. (I have waited an hour when the blasted machine was playing up) Once called, I follow them into the room, drop my basket holding my bag, top and bra (it's a big basket) and head to the bed. Before dropping my gown and flashing everyone, I give my birthdate and then lay on the bed, ensuring my bum hits a certain spot. I'm reminded to lift my arms over my head and grab the rails.
Now, this is where I do feel uncomfortable having a male in the room. Feeling vulnerable, the staff at this point are lining you up with the lasers, upper body is shoved as they make sure my side tats are lined up, they have the ruler out ensuring I'm centred and then my chest is marked up, once they are happy with everything, they leave and the rad begins. I'm left with my thoughts... are all the women seen today the talk of the beer garden?? What if I sneeze whist having treatment?? I look like I'm either sunning myself or wanting a good seeing too!!
So you get the picture, Big tall bloke, drawing on my boob and my thoughts... hence, my feeling uncomfortable.
It's been 52 days since I had my last chemo, time passes by so quickly. My hair is growing back everywhere. Think I need to get back into waxing soon (its been so nice not having to deal with all of that)
It's been 22 days since starting Tamoxifen and (touch wood) the only side effects that I seem to be having are hot flushes and heartburn.
Life is crazy busy and I have to remind myself to slow down and rest! Oh bugger! just looked at the time and on to my next job.
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Happy 15th Wedding Anniversary
14th March 2013
Dear Damon,
August 1995 saw you come into my life. Little did I know, I had just met the love of
my life, my best friend, father of my children and soul mate.
In our 18 years together, we have constantly been at each other’s
side.
You have always been the calming influence to
my ‘hot head’.
You have always made me feel safe.
You have always put the kids and I first.
You have always been my everything.
March 1998: we wed and our life began. We have 2 beautiful children who are the
sunshine in our lives.
People say life challenges either make or
break a marriage, I’m fortunate to say,
our marriage can outlast anything, CDH or Cancer can’t break us apart.
On this day 15 years ago in Las Vegas, we gave each other our hearts and committed to
a life of love and friendship.
15 years ago, I married an amazing man, who continues to
amaze me with his commitment and love to our family.
Damon, I love you with all my
heart, I love you for everything you are and for everything you are going to
be. I love you today, tomorrow and
forever.
Happy Anniversary my love
With love always
Sharon xxxx
Monday, March 11, 2013
10 down, 20 to go!
Monday 11th March 2013
Just home from my 10th rad treatment and looking forward to saying it's over!
My skin is starting to go red and today it feels hot (or is that my hot flushes??) I'm moisturising like crazy and my left arm is sore, thank goodness I have a Physio appointment tomorrow.
My daily visit for rad, see's me laying on the bed, whilst the staff call out numbers, move my upper body around until I am lined up and then I'm marked up with blue artline. My arms are up over my head and my chin is exactly 13cms from my chest and I'm to stay still for the entire time.
The staff are great but one guy is a dick. If they insist on having men in the room with breast cancer patients, for goodness sake, make sure they have a sense of humour! It's all we women have, when we are exposing our breasts.
Lots of love
Shaz x
Just home from my 10th rad treatment and looking forward to saying it's over!
My skin is starting to go red and today it feels hot (or is that my hot flushes??) I'm moisturising like crazy and my left arm is sore, thank goodness I have a Physio appointment tomorrow.
My daily visit for rad, see's me laying on the bed, whilst the staff call out numbers, move my upper body around until I am lined up and then I'm marked up with blue artline. My arms are up over my head and my chin is exactly 13cms from my chest and I'm to stay still for the entire time.
The staff are great but one guy is a dick. If they insist on having men in the room with breast cancer patients, for goodness sake, make sure they have a sense of humour! It's all we women have, when we are exposing our breasts.
Lots of love
Shaz x
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