Glass Half Full

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy 2014!

1st January 2014

Happy New Year!

Today I am grateful for being alive.

What are you grateful for?

Lots of love
Shaz xxx

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 wrap up

Tuesday 31st December 2013

2013 has shot right by and for some of it, I'm bloody glad!

I started the year feeling the love from my family and friends. Chemo 4, 5 & 6 went by and I started 30 days of Radiation. Damon surprised the kids & I with a quick Bali trip to celebrate my treatment being over.

We all ran/walked in the Mother’s Day Classic and hubby and I ran the HBF run for a Reason, not bad for someone getting over Breast Cancer Treatment.

In July hubby and I took our first ever trip away from the kids to Bali. We had a wonderful time and made some new special friends.

Our Daughter again had an excellent year of netball, had her braces removed and had a solid year at school. She is our Princess, who at times, is your typical 14 year old, at other times an old soul, born to this world before.

Our miracle, whilst not hitting all school milestones, continued to inspire us to never give up. He is such a happy soul, who will find his niche in this world.

My hair grew back and I even had it foiled blonde :)

I had talked about having a reconstruction and saw myself having it done quicker than I expected. I was very emotional about the reconstruction. I know I have gone on about getting new boobs, BUT getting them as a result of Breast Cancer really hit home. I had always talked about reduction prior to Breast Cancer, but would never have done it. Firstly, the pain scared me, secondly, this is what I was given, I was more or less happy with myself.

Knowing I was going to go under a GA for more than 2 hours scared me, WHAT if something happened to me?? My right breast cost $7000 not covered by health insurance and was payable (in full) 7 days prior to my surgery. I have had the breast removed and reconstructed to minimize my chances of Breast Cancer in that breast, it definitely wasn’t for cosmetic reasons, our insurance company cited.

August 27^th, saw me in hospital for 10 days after a Bilateral Mastectomy & Lat dorsi Reconstruction, with expanders. The surgery was 8 hours long and little did I know, recovery was going to be longer and harder than I had thought. 8 drains was so painful, especially having them removed. I also got burnt from the Bair Hugger, which was with me for 2 days.

I’m so thankful for my gorgeous husband and Dad , without there help, the kids and I would have been up shit creek. 6 weeks , not being able to drive & no household chores, cooking, laundry, was extremely tough on all of us.

For those of you reading this, who are or may end supporting someone with cancer, the biggest thing you can do, is call and say hi. Telling us, “call me if you need anything!” is a throw away comment, that only makes YOU feel better. Being too busy to check in, is an insult to your cancer relative/friend. Oh and why I’m at it, after treatment ends, it doesn't mean the end of someone’s cancer journey (well, unless that person is dead!) check in with them from time to time and ask them straight out, "how are YOU and I won't accept I'm fine!"

I have had 3 expansions. It’s a bizarre experience, very large needle injects salt water into your expander (normally fortnightly) The surgeon places a disc on your breast, searching for the port, once found, I could feel my back pull (remember I have my lat dorsi muscle now sitting in my breast) he then stabbed the needle into the port and began syringing. My chest felt tight after the expansions and at 250mls each breast, I decided I was more than happy with my new breast size and for the first time, felt comfortable in my own skin.

I will have my expanders removed at the end of January and implants will be inserted. This surgery is roughly an hour long and fingers crossed, I sail through it and get to go home quickly.

Since my last surgery and expansions, I have lost movement in my left arm due to scaring and am still seeing a Lymphedema Physio. I feel like I have an iron bra under my skin, it can be painful and is very uncomfortable. I have numbness in my back and occasionally feel like I’ve been zapped, (nerves were cut during surgery) I wish I could have just one hour free of pain :(

I now have two smiling faces, minus nipples on my chest, a constant reminder I had Breast Cancer.

The family and I had a great trip to Melbourne to see our CDH Australia Family. It was lovely being able to cuddle my CDH besties.

December was Mum’s 3^rd Angelversary. We had her ashes placed at Pinnaroo, and a part of her are now with Dad and I.

Christmas Day was lovely, kids had fun with Dad, Hubby and I.

My wish for you all during 2014, be HAPPY!! and PLEASE let's keep the positive attitudes going. Life is so short, life is to precious to be anything but happy.

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters."

- Audrey Hepburn

For me 2014.......  is going to be Healthy, enriching & joyous.  A year that will bless my family with all things good, a year that we will wake up daily and feel blessed to have each other in our lives.  A year that will see, hubby and I continue our fitness, a year that our children will continue to develop and be happy, A year that will see us, catching up with friends old and new and a year that we can look back at and say "what a brilliant year we all had!"
  

Happy New Year  !

With love 

Shaz

xxx

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

12 months.... really???

Wednesday 14th August 2013

It is 12 months to the day that I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I remember the phone call "Hi Sharon, it's Dr Wong, can you and your husband come and see me now?". As soon as I heard the request, I knew it was bad news.
I sat along side my husband in her office and couldn't quite believe that I was hearing correctly..... "me, cancer?"

As I reflect on the last 12 months, first and foremost, I am proud of myself. Proud to have faced this head on and not let the negative take hold of my thoughts and heart. Yes, I've had down days over the last 12 months, but being negative will only send me on a downward spiral, one that I wasn't prepared to embark on.

I'm blessed to have my Husband, gorgeous children and Dad by my side. I'm thankful for all the message of support, all the love sent, it has truly helped.

12 months on I still face: 4 1/2 years of Tamoxifen, tests and reconstruction. I am back running, have cut down on my alcohol consumption, eating clean and appreciating the small things in life. I feel amazing.

So on this day, I look cancer in the eye and say "fuck you!"

Today we turn this anniversary into a celebration of life, a celebration of our family love. Yes, I'm looking to the silver lining: 12 months on I'm here, I got through surgery, Chemo, Radiation and I'm loving life.

"Breast Cancer, you might have taken my breast but you haven't taken my spirit"

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

It's been awhile....

Wednesday 17th July 2013

It's been nearly 2 months since I last blogged! During this time I have been busy with the kids, netball and CDH commitments and getting myself fit and healthy.

I can't quiet believe it will be 12 months on 24th July that I felt the lump in my left breast. WOW.... time has gone so quickly and yet at times, has bloody stood still.

I have just re-read a couple of emails, sent to close friends telling them I have found a lump and am heading off for a Mammogram and U/S. Reading the emails and responses, reminds me how lucky I am to have these people in my life and for always showing love and support to the family and I.

On the 14th August, 12 months have passed since I heard those words "you have Breast Cancer".

I'm sure I will cry buckets in the next few weeks. I'm also sure, I will drink a nice bottle of bubbles and celebrate my life.
Bad things do happen to people, it's how we recover from them, that makes the biggest impact.

I'm also very much aware as my 12 month anniversary approaches, a good friend continues her battle. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and wish this was not happening. Love you Kate.

Until next time, be kind to yourself.

Shaz x