TAC first cycle

Monday 22nd October


Today is Australia's National Breast Cancer Day, today is also the day I start my chemo regime.

My family and I have spent an amazing weekend with our CDH Australia Family.  We had a 3 day conference, beginning with a medical workshop, followed by a family dinner on Friday.  Saturday consisted of a support workshop at Perth Zoo.  The weather was perfect and the kids spent the day roaming around looking at the animals (babysitters were in attendance) whilst the adults shared their journeys.  We ended the day with another family dinner.
Sunday's family day saw us at The Great Escape and it's safe to say, we were all exhausted.

The weekend was great as I didn't spend much time focusing on today.  My hubby and I had to keep our emotions in check as we both felt the tears would flow and never stop.  We really struggled saying goodbye to very special friends, they make us feel so loved and  we are blessed to have these friends in our lives and these friendships show everyone, that a devastating birth defect can  bring something beautiful even in such dark times.
We love you and you know who you are.

Last night my hubby and I sat and chatted about today, we are both so scared.  The unknown is the scariest thing and I'm sure whilst driving in I will have a 'freak out'.

This morning I spent a little time talking to Miss 13 about how much I love her and how chemo is such a shitty thing,  but needs to be done.  I asked her to work hard at school, be kind to her brother and always remember she can do and be anything she puts her mind too.  As she went off to school, "good luck Mum, I love you"

I also spoke with my son and again told him how much I love him and work hard and always be kind to his big sister.  I explained again about the chemo and hair loss and Mum may be sick.  He gave his usual response, with his beautiful smile "love you to the moon and back way more"
With that he joined his sister in the car and they both waved and blew kisses.

I feel calmer as I'm typing.  Like delivering my sick son, having the lumpectomy, followed by the partial mastectomy, I can't get out of having chemo, I have to suck it up.

Yes, I'm  petrified but at the end of today, it's one day 5 to go.

I've got this!!!

Lots of love to you all
Shaz xxxxx