Wednesday 26th September 2012
My dear Dad drove the kids to school for us this morning, so hubby and I could head into the city for my appointment.
We arrived in time (freeway was a nightmare) and headed up to my surgeon's rooms. Was greeted by his staff with big smiles, both ladies are so friendly and welcoming, perfect people for the job.
Hubby and I sat and waited for 5 minutes and it wasn't until we walked in that I thought "oh god, I am feeling sick"
We walked in and sat down and all I heard was "good news, we have it all, we have clear margins" I smiled, looked at hubby, smiled, turned back to my surgeon and smiled at him" "staging??" "haven't got that report back, but your Oncologist will have it when you see her"
I looked at my husband again and back to my surgeon {OMG... where is the but??? , surely I'm getting bad news}
Yes, I will have chemo and radiation then I will have my reconstruction. "come back and see me in 3 months so I can check the scars"
We thanked my surgeon, walked out and the lovely ladies made my first appointment with my Oncologist for next Wednesday 3pm, same floor, same hospital.
We got in the lift and both smiled at each other and blurted out "where is the but??" Hubby told me he was so nervous waiting in the surgeon's rooms and he now feels excited for the next step.
Excited = first steps towards being a breast cancer survivor.
We walked out and we looked like stunned mullets!
Yes, chemo and radiation won't be fun but I'm positive I will cope ok with it. I'm positive that all those drugs will rid me of the dreaded C, I'm positive I will have hair grow back that is lush {ok, I'm probably pushing the hair}
I'm positive, I am SO happy with today's appointment! I can't wait to share this news with my children, the loves of my life.
Don't sweat the small stuff people, it's not worth it! Enjoy today, enjoy everything you have (or don't have - someone, somewhere is worse off than you) in your life. Be thankful for those who love you and whom you love. Laugh, laugh as much as you can, even in crappy moments, laughter will bring joy to your heart.
Today I will laugh, I will laugh till I pee my pants, today I am happy :)
Be kind to yourself
with love
Shaz xxxx
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Healing
Tuesday 25th September
Over the last five days I have rested, had fun, managed a walk, couple of trips with my hubby to Woolies, a movie and worked on CAAF and netball project :)
I'm healing nicely and slowly getting more movement in my left arm. I'm feeling relaxed, I guess the shock is slowly wearing off and I'm ready for the next step.
Everything is crossed for good results tomorrow, well as good as they can be.
Hope all is well and healthy in your world.
with love
Shaz xxxx
Over the last five days I have rested, had fun, managed a walk, couple of trips with my hubby to Woolies, a movie and worked on CAAF and netball project :)
I'm healing nicely and slowly getting more movement in my left arm. I'm feeling relaxed, I guess the shock is slowly wearing off and I'm ready for the next step.
Everything is crossed for good results tomorrow, well as good as they can be.
Hope all is well and healthy in your world.
with love
Shaz xxxx
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Pathology results...NOT!
Thursday 20th September
Received a call Wednesday night, my path results were not ready so could I come in 11.20am Thursday instead of 9.15am. "yeah ok, but it's a pain as I have a physio appointment at 8.20"
Physio appointment went well :) No swelling from lymphedema, arm movement good, tight feeling in chest is scaring and numbness down back of arm is normal and will go - eventually!
Next appointment 10/10/12.
Hubby and I went to Hudsons coffee shop, had breakfast and coffee. Sat and chatted and people watched.
It's a long wait until 11.20am. Whilst people watching, we couldn't help but see loads of women with head scarves and beanies. I can honestly say I was the youngest woman I saw today :( and yes I did think "why me?"
11.20am - arrive at surgeon's rooms and still no results :( We waited awhile and then headed into see surgeon. Pathologist is missing and no results ARRRRGGGG!!!! "just my bloody luck!!"
Good news for the wasted hours, surgeon happy with wound and result did come back form first surgery HER2 negative. Hubby and I grinned and "yes, that's positive"
Going back next Wednesday and hopefully the pathologist has been found and has my results.
as a side note: 3 other women were also in the same boat
Home for a little while to rest then taking Miss 13 to a netball training session with Norma Plummer - for those of you in the know, this is a BIG thing for any aspiring netball player.
Miss 13 was invited to attend by one of her association team mates who won a competition (a training session for her team with Norma. This gorgeous girl chose her association team)
I'm really excited to see Norma in action and YAH I'm driving :)
So, whilst it sucks not getting my results, I'm happy the physio is happy with my progress, I have no lymphedema and I'm HER2 negative.
My glass is half full today.
Be kind to yourself and tell those whom you love, how much you appreciate and love them.
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
Received a call Wednesday night, my path results were not ready so could I come in 11.20am Thursday instead of 9.15am. "yeah ok, but it's a pain as I have a physio appointment at 8.20"
Physio appointment went well :) No swelling from lymphedema, arm movement good, tight feeling in chest is scaring and numbness down back of arm is normal and will go - eventually!
Next appointment 10/10/12.
Hubby and I went to Hudsons coffee shop, had breakfast and coffee. Sat and chatted and people watched.
It's a long wait until 11.20am. Whilst people watching, we couldn't help but see loads of women with head scarves and beanies. I can honestly say I was the youngest woman I saw today :( and yes I did think "why me?"
11.20am - arrive at surgeon's rooms and still no results :( We waited awhile and then headed into see surgeon. Pathologist is missing and no results ARRRRGGGG!!!! "just my bloody luck!!"
Good news for the wasted hours, surgeon happy with wound and result did come back form first surgery HER2 negative. Hubby and I grinned and "yes, that's positive"
Going back next Wednesday and hopefully the pathologist has been found and has my results.
as a side note: 3 other women were also in the same boat
Home for a little while to rest then taking Miss 13 to a netball training session with Norma Plummer - for those of you in the know, this is a BIG thing for any aspiring netball player.
Miss 13 was invited to attend by one of her association team mates who won a competition (a training session for her team with Norma. This gorgeous girl chose her association team)
I'm really excited to see Norma in action and YAH I'm driving :)
So, whilst it sucks not getting my results, I'm happy the physio is happy with my progress, I have no lymphedema and I'm HER2 negative.
My glass is half full today.
Be kind to yourself and tell those whom you love, how much you appreciate and love them.
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
The week that was
Tuesday 18th September
It's been 9 days since my last surgery and I have felt incredibly tired and sore. I'm resting but am struggling with the whole concept of "rest". How can I rest when I have 2 kids, a husband who runs his own business, a house and a life that is busy???????
Yes, I'm feeling guilty not doing my share and I understand in order for me to be ready for treatment, my body needs to heal = REST :(
We had a busy weekend with catchups with neighbours (late nights) , a quick trip to Ikea (bed shopping for master 9) and a wonder around Supre with Miss 13 ("I have no clothes") oh and I watched my gorgeous daughter play netball. It's my own fault, should of napped in the day and now I'm paying for it.
Fluid is starting to build up in my armpit and I hate the tight, tingling feeling. I'm seeing the physio Thursday morning and am looking forward to her showing my hubby how to do lymphatic massage.
I'm also loosing muscle that I have worked so hard to get :( It's incredible how quickly this has happened.
My gorgeous little family has been busy with work and school life. Life goes on and is flying by so quickly, I wish I could hit pause!!! Pausing life is prolonging my next step.... How will I cope with Chemo??? Should I shave my head before I start Chemo?? Will I have an ugly head??
SO many questions that I hoping to cross off on Thursday. I'm hoping my surgeon says "yep, I have it all" "This is your staging etc"
I'm still in my pj's and have been trying to write this update all day. My mind keeps wondering to my "to do" list.
Well, off for a shower, freshen up before dinner, then fill my glass half full of wine and relax with my little family.
Be kind to yourselves
lots of love
Shaz xxx
It's been 9 days since my last surgery and I have felt incredibly tired and sore. I'm resting but am struggling with the whole concept of "rest". How can I rest when I have 2 kids, a husband who runs his own business, a house and a life that is busy???????
Yes, I'm feeling guilty not doing my share and I understand in order for me to be ready for treatment, my body needs to heal = REST :(
We had a busy weekend with catchups with neighbours (late nights) , a quick trip to Ikea (bed shopping for master 9) and a wonder around Supre with Miss 13 ("I have no clothes") oh and I watched my gorgeous daughter play netball. It's my own fault, should of napped in the day and now I'm paying for it.
Fluid is starting to build up in my armpit and I hate the tight, tingling feeling. I'm seeing the physio Thursday morning and am looking forward to her showing my hubby how to do lymphatic massage.
I'm also loosing muscle that I have worked so hard to get :( It's incredible how quickly this has happened.
My gorgeous little family has been busy with work and school life. Life goes on and is flying by so quickly, I wish I could hit pause!!! Pausing life is prolonging my next step.... How will I cope with Chemo??? Should I shave my head before I start Chemo?? Will I have an ugly head??
SO many questions that I hoping to cross off on Thursday. I'm hoping my surgeon says "yep, I have it all" "This is your staging etc"
I'm still in my pj's and have been trying to write this update all day. My mind keeps wondering to my "to do" list.
Well, off for a shower, freshen up before dinner, then fill my glass half full of wine and relax with my little family.
Be kind to yourselves
lots of love
Shaz xxx
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Home
Thursday 13th September
I arrived home Wednesday 12th Sept, drain free, tired and sore. So happy to be back with my family.
Will post later today
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
Monday, September 10, 2012
Done & Dusted
Monday 10th September
Quick note: it's done. Didn't have mastectomy, surgeon took as much breast tissue as he could whilst leaving loads of skin. He is thinking about reconstruction down the track. No nipple and a big scar, feels and looks great. Will post a pic when home.
Drain is out oc my back - THANK GOD! Have one drain under breast.
Oh and I've been told I can have a glass of wine with dinner tomorrow.
Yes.... My glass is half full!!
I've got this!!
Lots if love (sorry for any spelling errors)
Shaz
Quick note: it's done. Didn't have mastectomy, surgeon took as much breast tissue as he could whilst leaving loads of skin. He is thinking about reconstruction down the track. No nipple and a big scar, feels and looks great. Will post a pic when home.
Drain is out oc my back - THANK GOD! Have one drain under breast.
Oh and I've been told I can have a glass of wine with dinner tomorrow.
Yes.... My glass is half full!!
I've got this!!
Lots if love (sorry for any spelling errors)
Shaz
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Lopsided
Sunday 9th September
This time tomorrow I will be lopsided and fingers crossed happy that all the cancer has gone!
I'm feeling pretty calm and believe it or not "happy". I'm in no way upset about having my left girl removed and have no problems having a scar (even if it's ugly) My amazing son has a scar that saved his life, now it's my turn to wear mine with pride :)
We have had a quiet weekend. Miss 13 played netball and our boy played outside. Didn't end up going to our friends 50th, party and drain don't mix so opted to stay in and watch the Dockers kick Geelong's butt! We are stocked with the win :)
It's a beautiful sunny Sunday, so dressed, put makeup on, shoved my drain in my handbag and went to watch my friends boy play in his footy GF (his team lost). Was lovely sitting in the sun and getting some fresh air.
Tonight hubby is cooking a BBQ and I will enjoy a couple of wines whilst chilling with my family.
Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, thoughts and prayers. I truly appreciate it and you all make me so much stronger.
I've got this!
Lots of love
Shaz xxxxx
This time tomorrow I will be lopsided and fingers crossed happy that all the cancer has gone!
I'm feeling pretty calm and believe it or not "happy". I'm in no way upset about having my left girl removed and have no problems having a scar (even if it's ugly) My amazing son has a scar that saved his life, now it's my turn to wear mine with pride :)
We have had a quiet weekend. Miss 13 played netball and our boy played outside. Didn't end up going to our friends 50th, party and drain don't mix so opted to stay in and watch the Dockers kick Geelong's butt! We are stocked with the win :)
It's a beautiful sunny Sunday, so dressed, put makeup on, shoved my drain in my handbag and went to watch my friends boy play in his footy GF (his team lost). Was lovely sitting in the sun and getting some fresh air.
Tonight hubby is cooking a BBQ and I will enjoy a couple of wines whilst chilling with my family.
Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, thoughts and prayers. I truly appreciate it and you all make me so much stronger.
I've got this!
Lots of love
Shaz xxxxx
Sad little faces
Sunday 9th September
Friday afternoon I again has to tell my children bad news. Miss 13 had been at school camp for 3 days and arrived home, tried, dirty and hungry. I waited until she had sorted herself out and sat the loves of my life down and told them I had to have by breast removed.
Miss 13 burst into tears straight away and wanted to know if I was going to die. Master 9 was silent and just sat listening.
I explained what's going to happen, showed them a photo of what my chest will look like and asked for questions.
What a shitty thing to have to tell my kids :(
I'm really proud of my kids and love them to the moon and back way more!
lots of love
Shaz x
Friday afternoon I again has to tell my children bad news. Miss 13 had been at school camp for 3 days and arrived home, tried, dirty and hungry. I waited until she had sorted herself out and sat the loves of my life down and told them I had to have by breast removed.
Miss 13 burst into tears straight away and wanted to know if I was going to die. Master 9 was silent and just sat listening.
I explained what's going to happen, showed them a photo of what my chest will look like and asked for questions.
What a shitty thing to have to tell my kids :(
I'm really proud of my kids and love them to the moon and back way more!
lots of love
Shaz x
Friday, September 7, 2012
oh crap :(
Friday 7th September,
We waited an hour to see my surgeon and when I finally walked in, I didn't hear, what I wanted to hear.
Tumor was larger than we thought, 35mm, we took a good margin and unfortunately the margin show cancer cells. {what... what... what... did he just say??? NO! you are suppose to say, we got it all and our next step is chemo... WTF}
Professional opinion is to have a mastectomy - HELL YES!
So, booked in for Monday to have mastectomy with the intention of having reconstruction done after chemo and radiation therapy.
Surgery will take just over an hour (if no probs) 2 days in hospital and home, fingers crossed no drains.
5 out of 20 lymph nodes removed had cancer, so i'm pulling strength from that number.
I'm upset, pissed off and completely devastated AGAIN!!!!
It is what it is and yes I still have my bloody drain.
Silver lining: I will eventually end up with new girls, I've always wanted smaller boobs.
Glass is completely empty as the tears keep flowing.
lots of love
Shaz x
We waited an hour to see my surgeon and when I finally walked in, I didn't hear, what I wanted to hear.
Tumor was larger than we thought, 35mm, we took a good margin and unfortunately the margin show cancer cells. {what... what... what... did he just say??? NO! you are suppose to say, we got it all and our next step is chemo... WTF}
Professional opinion is to have a mastectomy - HELL YES!
So, booked in for Monday to have mastectomy with the intention of having reconstruction done after chemo and radiation therapy.
Surgery will take just over an hour (if no probs) 2 days in hospital and home, fingers crossed no drains.
5 out of 20 lymph nodes removed had cancer, so i'm pulling strength from that number.
I'm upset, pissed off and completely devastated AGAIN!!!!
It is what it is and yes I still have my bloody drain.
Silver lining: I will eventually end up with new girls, I've always wanted smaller boobs.
Glass is completely empty as the tears keep flowing.
lots of love
Shaz x
Walk the Plank!
Friday 7th September
Well it's time to drive into The Mount and find out all my results. Woke this morning and my drainage volume was 55mls DAM YOU DRAIN!!!
I'm on the plank and about to walk.....
Well it's time to drive into The Mount and find out all my results. Woke this morning and my drainage volume was 55mls DAM YOU DRAIN!!!
I'm on the plank and about to walk.....
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Rest Day
Wednesday 5th September
Over the last couple of days I have not had any rest until my bed time. I have gone about my day (in track pants) like I would pre surgery. Well, you guessed it all caught up with me and I have spent the entire day in bed. I slept all morning then nodded all afternoon. I feel so guilty as my hubby is now home from work and cleaning our bathrooms :(
My drainage volume was down to 45mls but overnight went back up to 50mls. I'm still really uncomfortable with the drain and having tingles down my left arm (normal after an axillary clearance) I'm so OVER the drain and I know I can't shift my focus until this bloody thing gets removed. My left arm pit is so hairy and I really want a nice long shower and wash my hair.
As Friday draws nearer, all I can think of is "get this bloody drain out of me". I know driving into my appointment, thoughts will drift to pathology, chemo and radiation. I look forward to that drive because it will mark the next step to my journey of kicking Breast Cancers arse! ok Vent over!
Since my surgery I have had a couple of "friends" contact me who have be absent from my life for some time. I haven't responded or returned calls as I'm unsure how I feel.
Does Breast Cancer suddenly change your thoughts on me??? Is this more about how "you" feel than how I feel?? Should I open my arms and say 'welcome back".
I don't want to be consumed with these thoughts.... BUT, why should my diagnosis change things??
I'm the same Mum/wife/friend/daughter/ I was last month. I am still the same person who loves life, cares deeply about people/loves to love/loves to laugh/loves a wine or 3.
I'm me but with Breast Cancer.
On another note: Miss 13 has headed down south for school camp - 3 days/2 nights. We hope she has a wonderful time and hope she didn't get in trouble for taking her hot pink suitcase. (school bag was to small b/c she had that much stuff)
Looking forward to a nice dinner, which my hubby made and hanging with boys.
Take care of each other and if you haven't spoken to a friend for awhile, pick up the phone and say "hi", leaving communication until they are diagnosed with cancer may just be too late.
Drain is half full
lots of love
Shaz xx
Over the last couple of days I have not had any rest until my bed time. I have gone about my day (in track pants) like I would pre surgery. Well, you guessed it all caught up with me and I have spent the entire day in bed. I slept all morning then nodded all afternoon. I feel so guilty as my hubby is now home from work and cleaning our bathrooms :(
My drainage volume was down to 45mls but overnight went back up to 50mls. I'm still really uncomfortable with the drain and having tingles down my left arm (normal after an axillary clearance) I'm so OVER the drain and I know I can't shift my focus until this bloody thing gets removed. My left arm pit is so hairy and I really want a nice long shower and wash my hair.
As Friday draws nearer, all I can think of is "get this bloody drain out of me". I know driving into my appointment, thoughts will drift to pathology, chemo and radiation. I look forward to that drive because it will mark the next step to my journey of kicking Breast Cancers arse! ok Vent over!
Since my surgery I have had a couple of "friends" contact me who have be absent from my life for some time. I haven't responded or returned calls as I'm unsure how I feel.
Does Breast Cancer suddenly change your thoughts on me??? Is this more about how "you" feel than how I feel?? Should I open my arms and say 'welcome back".
I don't want to be consumed with these thoughts.... BUT, why should my diagnosis change things??
I'm the same Mum/wife/friend/daughter/ I was last month. I am still the same person who loves life, cares deeply about people/loves to love/loves to laugh/loves a wine or 3.
I'm me but with Breast Cancer.
On another note: Miss 13 has headed down south for school camp - 3 days/2 nights. We hope she has a wonderful time and hope she didn't get in trouble for taking her hot pink suitcase. (school bag was to small b/c she had that much stuff)
Looking forward to a nice dinner, which my hubby made and hanging with boys.
Take care of each other and if you haven't spoken to a friend for awhile, pick up the phone and say "hi", leaving communication until they are diagnosed with cancer may just be too late.
Drain is half full
lots of love
Shaz xx
Monday, September 3, 2012
random thoughts on a windy day
Monday 3 September
Where has the week gone??? This time last week I would of been wheeled into recovery.
Today I sit at my Mac and hoping like crazy that all the cancer has been cut out of me.
Yesterday was Father's Day and I had a long but enjoyable day with my Dad, Husband and kids. Hubby cooked up a storm: roast beef, pork and lamb with vegetables and finished off with apple pie. Good thing hubby thinks of himself as a good cook (he is) and had no probs getting in the kitchen.
Talking of cooking, one of our CDH Australia friends dropped home made beef and mushroom pies around. Thank you for this thoughtful gift which has been enjoyed by all. (Hubby came home for lunch today and consumed another)
Today has been back to routine, kids at school and hubby off to work. One of my dear friends popped over for coffee, we had a great laugh and she finished her visit with her usual trick of washing my hair :) Thank you my love :)
Had a visit from one of my netball friends, she makes me LOL and I'm sure I grossed her out getting the left girl out to show my "surgeons work". I should of promised her that I won't do this in front of the rest of the CNC Committee.
Drainage volume is down to 45mls today (YAH!!!!!) I have a fair bit of pain under my left arm (axillary clearance site) no pain from the breast :) and taking my physio slowly.
I have managed to send a few emails and catchup on some CDH Australia work. Yes, I'm going slow and no I'm ok doing the things I love.
I'm feeling relatively calm today and looking forward to hearing my results on Friday.
BTW: my friend agreed that both girls look the same :) I thought I would end up with one girl bigger than the other and walking lopsided around Perth HAHA.
Off to fill my glass half full....
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
Where has the week gone??? This time last week I would of been wheeled into recovery.
Today I sit at my Mac and hoping like crazy that all the cancer has been cut out of me.
Yesterday was Father's Day and I had a long but enjoyable day with my Dad, Husband and kids. Hubby cooked up a storm: roast beef, pork and lamb with vegetables and finished off with apple pie. Good thing hubby thinks of himself as a good cook (he is) and had no probs getting in the kitchen.
Talking of cooking, one of our CDH Australia friends dropped home made beef and mushroom pies around. Thank you for this thoughtful gift which has been enjoyed by all. (Hubby came home for lunch today and consumed another)
Today has been back to routine, kids at school and hubby off to work. One of my dear friends popped over for coffee, we had a great laugh and she finished her visit with her usual trick of washing my hair :) Thank you my love :)
Had a visit from one of my netball friends, she makes me LOL and I'm sure I grossed her out getting the left girl out to show my "surgeons work". I should of promised her that I won't do this in front of the rest of the CNC Committee.
Drainage volume is down to 45mls today (YAH!!!!!) I have a fair bit of pain under my left arm (axillary clearance site) no pain from the breast :) and taking my physio slowly.
I have managed to send a few emails and catchup on some CDH Australia work. Yes, I'm going slow and no I'm ok doing the things I love.
I'm feeling relatively calm today and looking forward to hearing my results on Friday.
BTW: my friend agreed that both girls look the same :) I thought I would end up with one girl bigger than the other and walking lopsided around Perth HAHA.
Off to fill my glass half full....
lots of love
Shaz xxxx
Saturday, September 1, 2012
What a week
Saturday 1st September
6pm on Saturday night and finally I am able to sit at my Mac and update my blog.
The week since my surgery has been one of pain, discomfort, tears and blessings.
Let's go back to surgery day:
Monday 27th August:
Woke early after a very late night watching tv with my hubby. Showered, picked up my bag, kiss on my babies cheeks was ready for the drive into The Mount.
Driving in I was so scared of what to expect and so thankful to have my best friend of 17 years by my side.
After parking the car we made our way to admissions. Room was packed and after a brief look around realised I was the youngest person in the room (apart from my hubby) "Holy shit..." Hubby had to stand as no seats were available. After what seemed hours (was actually 15 mins) my name was finally called, we answered some questions and was then led up to the ward.
Unfortunately I was in a shared room BUGGER!!! My surgeon's breast nurse came to introduce herself and gave me an "early breast cancer book" and all I remember her saying was "curable".
blur, blur, blur, .... me curable, me????? did she just say me curable??????
I changed into my sexy nightie NOT! and got into bed ready to be wheeled down to theatre. We put the tv on and both sat and watched. The physio came in (funny asian lady with a posh english accent) measured my arms so she had a guide to go off if swelling occurred later.
I had removed my contact lens and had my glasses on. Oh I loath wearing glasses, they make me feel so ugly and old.
Next minute, 2 young people came in, ready to take me to theatre. They asked me to remove my glasses after telling them I was blind as a bat, they agreed for me to wear them to theatre.
This is when I starting to freak out, I wasn't ready, I wanted to see my babies again and I had told my hubby how much i loved him. Hell, I hadn't even kissed him 'goodbye" My love came with me to the lifts, kissed me and I could feel the tears building up in both of us. (I have tears building up whilst typing this) I turned my head and heard myself say "I've got this'. With that the lift doors opened and I was pushed in.
On arrival on the 3rd floor I was placed into a waiting bay. After checking why I was having surgery and name and DOB checked the anesthetist came to see me. I told him I was very anxious (first GA) and he said he would give me a premed.
Surgeon then came in and drew markings on my left breast and underarm as to where he was going to cut. I had tears streaming down my face, whilst he did this. He promised he would look after me. Yes, I was in safe hands. When I was wheeled into theatre, I noticed I was in theatre 6, my fav number, had to mean something right?
Laying on the bed ready to be put to sleep was weird, we talked about the kids.... next minute I was awake and in recovery. My hubby said I was gone for over 3 hours and he was getting anxious.
I was so relieved to be taken back to the ward and see my hubby. My dear friend drove my babies and Dad into see me. I was over the moon to see them and I felt good.
Miss 13 year old had to play in her 1st semi final at netball so hubby went home to organise dinner and go and watch her. My good friend stayed with me, even though I slept on and off and I'm thankful for her watching over me.
Miss 13 and the team lost the semi by 2 but played an unbelievable game of netball. Well done girls, I am so proud of you all.
That night I told hubby not to return to the hospital as it was getting late and wanted him and the kids to have a good nights sleep.
Tuesday 28th August
Had a crap night. Nurses coming in and checking on me, giving me pain meds, getting me up for the loo and checking BP and O2 levels. Had to go on oxygen during the night as my pulse was low.
Today was spent sleeping, having a liver U/S and getting monitored every 4 hours.
Wednesday 29th August
Surgeon came to see me and said he was happy with how things went and if I wanted I could go home. Thankfully hubby was on his way in and as soon as he arrived we were long gone.
So glad to be home, hubby put me straight to bed and I slept alittle. Couldn't wait to see my kids when they finished school.
Wednesday 20th - Saturday 1st September
Hubby and kids have been amazing, have done everything around the house and have made sure I have rested up.
I have shed a few tears, the drain left in my back has been uncomfortable. I can't wash my hair or shower properly as I can't get the drain wet. My friend washed my hair bless her and tonight Miss 13 washed my hair.
I have blisters where the drain is rubbing and they are bloody itchy. I have been taking my pain meds but hate the way they make me feel. I have slept alot, which is good as I'm a believer in sleep being a big factor in recovery.
I saw the nurse at The Mount today and all is well with my wounds, no infection in sight YAH! I will however more than likely have the drain until Friday DISLIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's better to have the drain than a needle aspirating the gunk from my body.
I have had so many emails, texts, FB messages and cards of good health sent to me and I would like to thank you all.
Friday 7th Sept, I get my results and will know what the next step is to a full recovery. Whatever treatment needs to be done, will get done "i've got this"
Off to watch the Dockers with my family.
Yes, today after a bloody long week, i can actually say "my glass (and drain) is half full"
Lots of love
Shaz xxxxxx
6pm on Saturday night and finally I am able to sit at my Mac and update my blog.
The week since my surgery has been one of pain, discomfort, tears and blessings.
Let's go back to surgery day:
Monday 27th August:
Woke early after a very late night watching tv with my hubby. Showered, picked up my bag, kiss on my babies cheeks was ready for the drive into The Mount.
Driving in I was so scared of what to expect and so thankful to have my best friend of 17 years by my side.
After parking the car we made our way to admissions. Room was packed and after a brief look around realised I was the youngest person in the room (apart from my hubby) "Holy shit..." Hubby had to stand as no seats were available. After what seemed hours (was actually 15 mins) my name was finally called, we answered some questions and was then led up to the ward.
Unfortunately I was in a shared room BUGGER!!! My surgeon's breast nurse came to introduce herself and gave me an "early breast cancer book" and all I remember her saying was "curable".
blur, blur, blur, .... me curable, me????? did she just say me curable??????
I changed into my sexy nightie NOT! and got into bed ready to be wheeled down to theatre. We put the tv on and both sat and watched. The physio came in (funny asian lady with a posh english accent) measured my arms so she had a guide to go off if swelling occurred later.
I had removed my contact lens and had my glasses on. Oh I loath wearing glasses, they make me feel so ugly and old.
Next minute, 2 young people came in, ready to take me to theatre. They asked me to remove my glasses after telling them I was blind as a bat, they agreed for me to wear them to theatre.
This is when I starting to freak out, I wasn't ready, I wanted to see my babies again and I had told my hubby how much i loved him. Hell, I hadn't even kissed him 'goodbye" My love came with me to the lifts, kissed me and I could feel the tears building up in both of us. (I have tears building up whilst typing this) I turned my head and heard myself say "I've got this'. With that the lift doors opened and I was pushed in.
On arrival on the 3rd floor I was placed into a waiting bay. After checking why I was having surgery and name and DOB checked the anesthetist came to see me. I told him I was very anxious (first GA) and he said he would give me a premed.
Surgeon then came in and drew markings on my left breast and underarm as to where he was going to cut. I had tears streaming down my face, whilst he did this. He promised he would look after me. Yes, I was in safe hands. When I was wheeled into theatre, I noticed I was in theatre 6, my fav number, had to mean something right?
Laying on the bed ready to be put to sleep was weird, we talked about the kids.... next minute I was awake and in recovery. My hubby said I was gone for over 3 hours and he was getting anxious.
I was so relieved to be taken back to the ward and see my hubby. My dear friend drove my babies and Dad into see me. I was over the moon to see them and I felt good.
Miss 13 year old had to play in her 1st semi final at netball so hubby went home to organise dinner and go and watch her. My good friend stayed with me, even though I slept on and off and I'm thankful for her watching over me.
Miss 13 and the team lost the semi by 2 but played an unbelievable game of netball. Well done girls, I am so proud of you all.
That night I told hubby not to return to the hospital as it was getting late and wanted him and the kids to have a good nights sleep.
Tuesday 28th August
Had a crap night. Nurses coming in and checking on me, giving me pain meds, getting me up for the loo and checking BP and O2 levels. Had to go on oxygen during the night as my pulse was low.
Today was spent sleeping, having a liver U/S and getting monitored every 4 hours.
Wednesday 29th August
Surgeon came to see me and said he was happy with how things went and if I wanted I could go home. Thankfully hubby was on his way in and as soon as he arrived we were long gone.
So glad to be home, hubby put me straight to bed and I slept alittle. Couldn't wait to see my kids when they finished school.
Wednesday 20th - Saturday 1st September
Hubby and kids have been amazing, have done everything around the house and have made sure I have rested up.
I have shed a few tears, the drain left in my back has been uncomfortable. I can't wash my hair or shower properly as I can't get the drain wet. My friend washed my hair bless her and tonight Miss 13 washed my hair.
I have blisters where the drain is rubbing and they are bloody itchy. I have been taking my pain meds but hate the way they make me feel. I have slept alot, which is good as I'm a believer in sleep being a big factor in recovery.
I saw the nurse at The Mount today and all is well with my wounds, no infection in sight YAH! I will however more than likely have the drain until Friday DISLIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's better to have the drain than a needle aspirating the gunk from my body.
I have had so many emails, texts, FB messages and cards of good health sent to me and I would like to thank you all.
Friday 7th Sept, I get my results and will know what the next step is to a full recovery. Whatever treatment needs to be done, will get done "i've got this"
Off to watch the Dockers with my family.
Yes, today after a bloody long week, i can actually say "my glass (and drain) is half full"
Lots of love
Shaz xxxxxx
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