Reflecting over the last post I can honestly say I feel better for having my "oh why me" days. I think it's important to let the dark into ones life to appreciate how far I have come and how crappy this BC journey really is.
From my last past I have spent majority of my time laying on the couch reading and watching tv. My energy levels have been at an all time low. I have struggled with this as my life pre "BC" was busy with playing volleyball, running, walking, housework, netball and being a full time Mum and Wife.
I know this will improve after all my treatment is over (side effect of Radiation is fatigue :( ) and it can't come soon enough.
Well in the last few days, my kids have finished school for 2012. I am over the moon to have them home chilling with me.
My hubby turned our Christmas lights on Dec 1st and the house looks fantastic. We all enjoy seeing the smiles on everyone's faces when they drive or walk by.
The kids and I headed to have the annual Santa photo taken and Master 9 asked for an "Ipad".
I had booked myself in to the "Look good, feel Better" workshop for Saturday morning. Miss 13 was keen to attend with me as my support person. At the workshop run for cancer patients who have undergone or are going through chemo or radiation. It's all about getting us to feel good about ourselves and they way they do this is by skin care, make-up, hats, turbans and wigs.
Unfortunately the course was cancelled as they organisers couldn't gain access into the building. Hopefully it will be rescheduled and I can attend.
Miss 13 is coming with me for Chemo 4 (yes number 4) As you know it's my Mum's 2nd Angelversary on 21st December and it will also mark chemo day for me. I am positive my mum will be sat with my daughter and myself while I have my chemo.
I think seeing me have chemo, will take the 'scary' out of what Miss 13 have imagined in her mind. She will see her Mum laugh with the nurses, drink coffee, suck ice and pee a lot. I'm mindful of how stressed she may feel prior to coming but confident it will be a rewarding day for her.
So....chemo #4, 4 days before Christmas!! Thankfully we have Christmas at home and my family will be ok with me laying on the couch.
Hubby and I have our lists going and I think we have everything sorted. Mental note: remind Dad to make the trifle :)
I'm looking forward to Christmas and seeing the smiles on the kids faces and spending quality time making old and new traditions.
Today I'm also reminded that in a months time we would of been in Bali. Bali is our second home, we love the place. Yes, it can be grotty, loud drunk people, people begging, people stealing, people hassling for you to buy but we love it. We have the best memories from all our trips. It's cheap and our children love it. I wish we were going and will go when my treatment is over and done with.
In the meantime, we will have to try and snatch some days away within our own state, can't have the kids spending 2 months off school and doing nothing.
So, that's me in the last 6 days. As I type this, hubby is staining our deck, another job off his Christmas list to be marked off. My gorgeous son is eating lunch at our gorgeous neighbours house and Miss 13 is meeting up with her bestie, having Maccas for lunch, then heading back to ours for a sleepover.
As for me, I've got my head in the latest Alex Cross (James Patterson) book and my eye on the end of chemo - 3 to go :)
Be kind to yourself, today I'm trying :)
Shaz xxxxxx
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