Wednesday 5th September
Over the last couple of days I have not had any rest until my bed time. I have gone about my day (in track pants) like I would pre surgery. Well, you guessed it all caught up with me and I have spent the entire day in bed. I slept all morning then nodded all afternoon. I feel so guilty as my hubby is now home from work and cleaning our bathrooms :(
My drainage volume was down to 45mls but overnight went back up to 50mls. I'm still really uncomfortable with the drain and having tingles down my left arm (normal after an axillary clearance) I'm so OVER the drain and I know I can't shift my focus until this bloody thing gets removed. My left arm pit is so hairy and I really want a nice long shower and wash my hair.
As Friday draws nearer, all I can think of is "get this bloody drain out of me". I know driving into my appointment, thoughts will drift to pathology, chemo and radiation. I look forward to that drive because it will mark the next step to my journey of kicking Breast Cancers arse! ok Vent over!
Since my surgery I have had a couple of "friends" contact me who have be absent from my life for some time. I haven't responded or returned calls as I'm unsure how I feel.
Does Breast Cancer suddenly change your thoughts on me??? Is this more about how "you" feel than how I feel?? Should I open my arms and say 'welcome back".
I don't want to be consumed with these thoughts.... BUT, why should my diagnosis change things??
I'm the same Mum/wife/friend/daughter/ I was last month. I am still the same person who loves life, cares deeply about people/loves to love/loves to laugh/loves a wine or 3.
I'm me but with Breast Cancer.
On another note: Miss 13 has headed down south for school camp - 3 days/2 nights. We hope she has a wonderful time and hope she didn't get in trouble for taking her hot pink suitcase. (school bag was to small b/c she had that much stuff)
Looking forward to a nice dinner, which my hubby made and hanging with boys.
Take care of each other and if you haven't spoken to a friend for awhile, pick up the phone and say "hi", leaving communication until they are diagnosed with cancer may just be too late.
Drain is half full
lots of love
Shaz xx
Im glad you had a rest day luv try not to push your body to hard. Well you know my thoughts on those "friends" but you do what is best for you.
ReplyDeleteI will see you tomorrow (maybe another hair wash is due) xxx
Hugs to you Sharon. The rest will have done you the world of good so don't feel guilty. I understand what you are saying about people suddenly finding it difficult to talk to you, I had the same after Joel died. It's very hurtful. I know people don't know what to say at times but just wish they'd say something, it would make so much difference. I am thinking of you and fingers crossed your drain will be gone very soon. Lots of love debbiex
ReplyDeleteBe gone damned drain!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThere, did that work.
No???? Oh bugger, I tried.
Seriously though honey, wish you were more comfortable too and that it was out and you can start the next step of this god awful journey.
Thinking of you and make sure you don't burn yourself out.
Get some rest and don't stress about those "friends", these things have a way of working themselves out.
Luv ya!!!